You can't make this stuff up folks.
For those who don't get the reference:
For more RvB wonderfulness go on over to Roosterteeth and loiter for several hours.
Showing posts with label Annoying Fuckers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Annoying Fuckers. Show all posts
12.30.2011
12.19.2011
The King is Dead
Kim Jong Il died over the week-end. Refered to as "Dear Leader", "Our Father", and "Supreme Leader" he was responsible for the death of somewhere between 3.3 and 7.2 million of his own people.
The King is dead. May the Norks never get another.
The King is dead. May the Norks never get another.
Death comes for us all. Even for kings he comes.
-Robert Bolt
11.30.2011
A Song for the 99%
A song for all the #occupiers, socialists, marxists, professional bums and 40-year-old adolescents. It's a song for the hipsters, the collegiate elites (yes Michael Avery, I mean you) and the MSM. It's a song for anyone who expects, hell WANTS the government to take care of them. It's full of classical references that I don't expect all of you to get. It's a holiday song, which is fitting for the season, and a classic, which is fitting anytime. Enjoy.
And yes I know Jello Biafra turned into a giant douche later on. Doesn't mean the message isn't valid.
And yes I know Jello Biafra turned into a giant douche later on. Doesn't mean the message isn't valid.
11.29.2011
Habeus Corpus? What's that?
So the Senate is seeking to redefine America as an actual military battleground, and allow the military to detain indefinitely, without trial or charge, American citizens. Somebody tell me that this is just my PTSD fucking with me. Please?
The authors of this travesty of legislation; Carl Levin (D-Mich.) and John McCain (R-Ariz.), worked on the bill in secrecy. Wait, John McCain? Vietnam veteran John McCain? Hero P.O.W. John McCain? WTF? Man am I glad I didn't vote for that dude. To think that a guy that close to winning the presidency sees no problem with instituting the KGB in America. That's pretty terrifying. I think we may have actually dodged a bullet back in '08. Wait, did I just say I'm thankful that Obama is president? What the fuck just happened?
People often bandy about "When is government tyranny too much to stand for?" I think this might just be the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. When the government can arrest and imprison ANYONE without charge or trial. I think that's the line.
At what point does Jeffry Habib, al-qaeda operative become John Public, outspoken critic of the government? What happened to the fifth amendment? Or the Sixth? Or the Eighth? Thor's teeth, it's only a hop, skip and a goose-step from "detaining illegal combatants on the battlefield of America" to "declaring martial law for the duration of the emergency". For the duration is a synonym for" whenever we fucking feel like it."
The authors of this travesty of legislation; Carl Levin (D-Mich.) and John McCain (R-Ariz.), worked on the bill in secrecy. Wait, John McCain? Vietnam veteran John McCain? Hero P.O.W. John McCain? WTF? Man am I glad I didn't vote for that dude. To think that a guy that close to winning the presidency sees no problem with instituting the KGB in America. That's pretty terrifying. I think we may have actually dodged a bullet back in '08. Wait, did I just say I'm thankful that Obama is president? What the fuck just happened?
People often bandy about "When is government tyranny too much to stand for?" I think this might just be the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. When the government can arrest and imprison ANYONE without charge or trial. I think that's the line.
At what point does Jeffry Habib, al-qaeda operative become John Public, outspoken critic of the government? What happened to the fifth amendment? Or the Sixth? Or the Eighth? Thor's teeth, it's only a hop, skip and a goose-step from "detaining illegal combatants on the battlefield of America" to "declaring martial law for the duration of the emergency". For the duration is a synonym for" whenever we fucking feel like it."
"Why of course the people don't want war. Why should some poor slob on a farm want to risk his life in a war when the best he can get out of it is to come back to his farm in one piece? Naturally the common people don't want war neither in Russia, nor in England, nor for that matter in Germany. That is understood. But, after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country."
-Hermann Goering
11.07.2011
I Think She Slept Through it the First Time
"Well, I'm going to be pilloried for this. I think get rid of the second Amendment, the right to bear arms. I just think in the grand scheme of the rights that we have; the right of assembly, free speech, I mean, owning a gun does not, it does not tally on the same level as those other Constitutional rights. And being more discreet about who gets to have a firearm and right to kill with a firearm, I think is something that would be in our national interest to revisit that." -Alex Wagoner
Lady, I don't think pillory is still on the books, but even if it were, I doubt it'd be appropriate. Remedial US Government classes on the other hand...
Just so we're clear Alex, can I call you Alex? It's so much easier than smoothbrain. Just so we're clear here Alex I'll recite for you the actual amendment:
"A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed"
Where does it guarantee the right to kill people? And who exactly whould you like to restrict the abilty to kill with a firearm to? LEOs? Military? Gestapo?
By denying others the right bear arms, you deny them the freedom to accept responsibility for their own safety, and the safety of their community. Is this because you feel too irresponsible to accept that responsibilty yourself?
Lady, I don't think pillory is still on the books, but even if it were, I doubt it'd be appropriate. Remedial US Government classes on the other hand...
Just so we're clear Alex, can I call you Alex? It's so much easier than smoothbrain. Just so we're clear here Alex I'll recite for you the actual amendment:
"A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed"
Where does it guarantee the right to kill people? And who exactly whould you like to restrict the abilty to kill with a firearm to? LEOs? Military? Gestapo?
By denying others the right bear arms, you deny them the freedom to accept responsibility for their own safety, and the safety of their community. Is this because you feel too irresponsible to accept that responsibilty yourself?
11.01.2011
Occupy this!
I'm only gonna say this once.
An adult does not whine about what he's owed. An adult earns his way in the world. Impotently whining about "unfairness" and rageing over the "1%" accomplishes nothing and makes you look like the child you act like. Shitting on a cop car, while funny, is hardly the act of a civilized person, or even a partly civilized person for that matter. It's more of a "laughing at" than a "laughing with" gag.
All the Occupy Whatevers need to grow the fuck up and get a fucking job. Those of them not getting paid to be Occupy Whatevers, that is.
Oh and is Rosanne Barr planning on giving away her eighty million dollars, or is she planning on being "re-educated" along with the rest of the "fat cats"? Is it me, or is the idea of a multi-millionaire celebrity decrying the inequity of the wealthy just fucking rediculious?
An adult does not whine about what he's owed. An adult earns his way in the world. Impotently whining about "unfairness" and rageing over the "1%" accomplishes nothing and makes you look like the child you act like. Shitting on a cop car, while funny, is hardly the act of a civilized person, or even a partly civilized person for that matter. It's more of a "laughing at" than a "laughing with" gag.
All the Occupy Whatevers need to grow the fuck up and get a fucking job. Those of them not getting paid to be Occupy Whatevers, that is.
Oh and is Rosanne Barr planning on giving away her eighty million dollars, or is she planning on being "re-educated" along with the rest of the "fat cats"? Is it me, or is the idea of a multi-millionaire celebrity decrying the inequity of the wealthy just fucking rediculious?
3.16.2011
Way to Rape the Fat Kid, People
If you haven't already, whatch this video and take a moment to reflect upon what has occurred.
The largish fellow who engaged in the herculean display of strength? His name is Casey. Casey, having been bullied and picked on (reportedly) his entire scholatic career decided, upon being battered by the smaller fellow, to fight back. When I first saw this vid I was jubilant.
"Yes!" I thought "This is the way it's supposed to work. The hyena fucks with the bear, and gets the shit kicked out of him."
Then I discovered that there was no joy in Mudville, mighty Casey had struck out. Owing to his school's "Zero-tolerance violence policy" young Casey was suspended for fighting. You see in many places (read, everywhere english is spoken)it is a violation of policy for one student to defend themselves against battery by another. This is a bad thing.
It teaches children that it's wrong to defend yourself. It tells people that should you dare to fight back against an oppressor, even justice will not serve you. It instills the attitude of "Don't bother trying, you can't win."
Violence is a physical extension of the will. It is an attempt by one party to compel another to do their bidding. It matters not what from the violence takes, or who employs it, the purpose is all the same. Whether it's the federal government compelling compliance with the law or school yard bullies making themselves feel better by making the weak and vulnerable suffer; the message is the same.
"You will do what I want or you will suffer."
The intelligent use of violence involves the complete demoralization of the target. The target not only loses this fight, but the will (and indeed the ability ofttimes) to fight in the future. This is part of the process of rape. The intent is not only to force the victim to bend to your will, but to not report the attack for fear of social repercussions; the shame and humiliation it brings to those that suffer from it. The questions of "Why did this happen?" and "Why couldn't I stop this?" occur to most people who are the victims of violence. This is a pretty widespread phenomenon. Victims of schoolyard bullying, victims of torture and survivors of sexual assault report similar introspective questions, usually without answers.
When a crime occurs and a third party facilitaties it, we call it aiding and abbeting or sometimes accessory before the fact. Those who assist a criminal in his crime are accomplices. In most places an accomplice is considered just as guilty as the actual perpetrator. When a school intentionally creates an environment that encourages violence towards students by other students (such as encouraging students not to defend themselves), this is abbetting, if not aiding in the commission of a crime. Because that is what unwarranted violence is; a crime. use of violence is battery and threat of violence is assault, and whether commited by 14 year olds or 40 year olds, battery is a crime. And punishing people for defending themselves is at the very least a travesty of justice, if not an outright crime itself.
There is only one way to deal with such restrictions (social repercussions, self doubt and zero-tolerance violence policies) to your basic right to live. Fight back against your attackers. Stand up to bullies, refuse to accept blame when it's unwarranted. Learn to fight, learn to shoot and get licensed to carry concealed. Refuse to be a victim.
The largish fellow who engaged in the herculean display of strength? His name is Casey. Casey, having been bullied and picked on (reportedly) his entire scholatic career decided, upon being battered by the smaller fellow, to fight back. When I first saw this vid I was jubilant.
"Yes!" I thought "This is the way it's supposed to work. The hyena fucks with the bear, and gets the shit kicked out of him."
Then I discovered that there was no joy in Mudville, mighty Casey had struck out. Owing to his school's "Zero-tolerance violence policy" young Casey was suspended for fighting. You see in many places (read, everywhere english is spoken)it is a violation of policy for one student to defend themselves against battery by another. This is a bad thing.
It teaches children that it's wrong to defend yourself. It tells people that should you dare to fight back against an oppressor, even justice will not serve you. It instills the attitude of "Don't bother trying, you can't win."
Violence is a physical extension of the will. It is an attempt by one party to compel another to do their bidding. It matters not what from the violence takes, or who employs it, the purpose is all the same. Whether it's the federal government compelling compliance with the law or school yard bullies making themselves feel better by making the weak and vulnerable suffer; the message is the same.
"You will do what I want or you will suffer."
The intelligent use of violence involves the complete demoralization of the target. The target not only loses this fight, but the will (and indeed the ability ofttimes) to fight in the future. This is part of the process of rape. The intent is not only to force the victim to bend to your will, but to not report the attack for fear of social repercussions; the shame and humiliation it brings to those that suffer from it. The questions of "Why did this happen?" and "Why couldn't I stop this?" occur to most people who are the victims of violence. This is a pretty widespread phenomenon. Victims of schoolyard bullying, victims of torture and survivors of sexual assault report similar introspective questions, usually without answers.
When a crime occurs and a third party facilitaties it, we call it aiding and abbeting or sometimes accessory before the fact. Those who assist a criminal in his crime are accomplices. In most places an accomplice is considered just as guilty as the actual perpetrator. When a school intentionally creates an environment that encourages violence towards students by other students (such as encouraging students not to defend themselves), this is abbetting, if not aiding in the commission of a crime. Because that is what unwarranted violence is; a crime. use of violence is battery and threat of violence is assault, and whether commited by 14 year olds or 40 year olds, battery is a crime. And punishing people for defending themselves is at the very least a travesty of justice, if not an outright crime itself.
There is only one way to deal with such restrictions (social repercussions, self doubt and zero-tolerance violence policies) to your basic right to live. Fight back against your attackers. Stand up to bullies, refuse to accept blame when it's unwarranted. Learn to fight, learn to shoot and get licensed to carry concealed. Refuse to be a victim.
3.03.2011
Michael Moore is a Coward
Michael Moore, the documentary (ha!) film maker has shown himself to be a coward who would hide thievery behind the aegis of government. The video can be found at RealClear Politics but here's a transcript for those who's constitution is to frail to handle hearing Moore's bilge aloud.
"To me the solution is quite, quite simple. First of all, we're not broke. This country is not broke. The state of Wisconsin is not broke. There's a lot of cash in this country, trillions of dollars of it. But it's a finite amount, there's only so much cash. Alright? What's happened is, we've allowed a vast majority of that cash to be concentrated in the hands of just a few people. And they're not circulating that cash. If you don't believe that, go try and get a loan right now. They're sitting on the money, they're using it for their own st-, they're putting it someplace else. they have no interest in helping you, with your life, with that money.
We've allowed them to take that. That's not theirs. that's a national resource, it's ours, we all have this, we all benefit from this or we all suffer as a result of not having it and, and I think that we need to, uh, go back to taxing these people at the proper rates, um, um , uh, they need to , we need to see these jobs as something that we own, that we collectively own, as Americans. And you can't just steal out jobs and take them somewhere else."
First of all Michael, there is effectively an infinite amount of cash. The U.S. Treasury Department can print as much cash as they'd like, but it won't do a lick of good. Because cash is not wealth; it is a marker used to represent wealth. Even gold and silver and diamonds (as much as the government and the diamond cartels would have you think otherwise) is not wealth. Labor is wealth. Clean water and edible food are wealth. Arable land, timber land and sources of ore are wealth. Weapons and tools are wealth. Knowledge and the ability to make use of it are wealth.
And that's why you have "allowed the vast majority of cash to be accumulated in the hands of a few people" because they had knowledge and knew how to use it to *earn* all that cash. In some, relatively rare cases, this was done by the parents or grandparents of such a "hoarder" and was left to them or given to them.
Why should I or anyone else help you? You're none of my kith nor kin. Give me one good reason, and "because I want it" is not a good reason.If I should decide to sit on my cash, or invest it, or sew it into a shirt, or shred it to make into a merkin, what business is it of yours? Even should I increase the overall value of the US dollar by destroying all of my cash, how does this concern you?
But no. You would take from me and from others that which is ours. OK. I can get behind that. My ancestors were vikings and reavers but rather than come and take what you want by might or legerdemain or even charlatanism you would cover your greed with the color of law. Well be damned to you sir. If you want my money, you either earn it or come for it the old fashioned way; with a weapon in hand.
h/t to Gay Cynic, owner/operator of Free Thinker
"To me the solution is quite, quite simple. First of all, we're not broke. This country is not broke. The state of Wisconsin is not broke. There's a lot of cash in this country, trillions of dollars of it. But it's a finite amount, there's only so much cash. Alright? What's happened is, we've allowed a vast majority of that cash to be concentrated in the hands of just a few people. And they're not circulating that cash. If you don't believe that, go try and get a loan right now. They're sitting on the money, they're using it for their own st-, they're putting it someplace else. they have no interest in helping you, with your life, with that money.
We've allowed them to take that. That's not theirs. that's a national resource, it's ours, we all have this, we all benefit from this or we all suffer as a result of not having it and, and I think that we need to, uh, go back to taxing these people at the proper rates, um, um , uh, they need to , we need to see these jobs as something that we own, that we collectively own, as Americans. And you can't just steal out jobs and take them somewhere else."
First of all Michael, there is effectively an infinite amount of cash. The U.S. Treasury Department can print as much cash as they'd like, but it won't do a lick of good. Because cash is not wealth; it is a marker used to represent wealth. Even gold and silver and diamonds (as much as the government and the diamond cartels would have you think otherwise) is not wealth. Labor is wealth. Clean water and edible food are wealth. Arable land, timber land and sources of ore are wealth. Weapons and tools are wealth. Knowledge and the ability to make use of it are wealth.
And that's why you have "allowed the vast majority of cash to be accumulated in the hands of a few people" because they had knowledge and knew how to use it to *earn* all that cash. In some, relatively rare cases, this was done by the parents or grandparents of such a "hoarder" and was left to them or given to them.
Why should I or anyone else help you? You're none of my kith nor kin. Give me one good reason, and "because I want it" is not a good reason.If I should decide to sit on my cash, or invest it, or sew it into a shirt, or shred it to make into a merkin, what business is it of yours? Even should I increase the overall value of the US dollar by destroying all of my cash, how does this concern you?
But no. You would take from me and from others that which is ours. OK. I can get behind that. My ancestors were vikings and reavers but rather than come and take what you want by might or legerdemain or even charlatanism you would cover your greed with the color of law. Well be damned to you sir. If you want my money, you either earn it or come for it the old fashioned way; with a weapon in hand.
h/t to Gay Cynic, owner/operator of Free Thinker
1.13.2011
Across America, Racist Communities Sigh with Relief
Found on the NPR website.
By the all the gods and the choosers of the slain; WHAT. THE. FUCK. OVER?
The author of this tripe, one Daisy Hernandez is as racist as any klansman. How this offal managed to be broadcast without tripping the "Hate Speech" alarms at NPR is anyones guess, but the comments are up to 179 in one day. The split seems to be about 50-50 supportive/damning, with prehaps a slight lead in the "Did she just call me a nigger?" category.
I seriously do not understand this shit. But then again, I'm an irishman, a scot and a heathen; I do not emulate the oppressor.
By the all the gods and the choosers of the slain; WHAT. THE. FUCK. OVER?
The author of this tripe, one Daisy Hernandez is as racist as any klansman. How this offal managed to be broadcast without tripping the "Hate Speech" alarms at NPR is anyones guess, but the comments are up to 179 in one day. The split seems to be about 50-50 supportive/damning, with prehaps a slight lead in the "Did she just call me a nigger?" category.
I seriously do not understand this shit. But then again, I'm an irishman, a scot and a heathen; I do not emulate the oppressor.
Ultima Ratio Populi
Politicians are getttin' uppity gain.
First off, the (presumably, but probably not) honorable Robert Brady (D-PA) wants to make it illegal to say mean things about politicians. Notably he wants to make it a federal offense to use "language or symbols that could be perceived as threatening or inciting violence against a federal official or member of Congress"
May I just say; damned if you will!
The ability to express ourselves fully, in the most vitirolic of language, is one of the last resorts we have to remind our elected officials who they work for, and when they're doing a piss poor job. Any curtailing of that most precious of liberties, free speech, must be considered an assault upon the People of the United States. I am not happy that such protection is afforded the chief executive, and I will be damned if all our elected officials receive the same ægis.
Actually, the entire country will be damned and the descent into fascism of our freedom loving rollercoaster will slip it's brakes and there will be little left to do about it. Remind your elected officals that you oppose any such legislation. Failure to do so will result in you getting the government you deserve.
Secondly, James Clyburn (D-SC) wants special treatment when passing through TSA checkpoints.
“We’ve had some incidents where TSA authorities think that congresspeople should be treated like everybody else.... ....Well, the fact of the matter is, we are held to a higher standard in so many other areas, and I think we need to take a hard look at exactly how the TSA interact with members of Congress.”
That is an interesting opinion, please allow me to rebut.
Fuck you, you tyranical, egomaniacal, shitstick. The best part of you ran down the crack of your mother's ass and left a brown stain on the matress. How dare you think you are above the rest of us. You are a public servant you power-hungry tool, not a member of the second estate.
And finally on the hit parade of shame; Peter King (R-NY), who wants to make it "illegal to knowingly carry a gun within a 1,000 feet of certain high-profile government officials.”
This is because he knows his latin and remembers his history. Ultima Ratio Populi; the last argument of the people.
First off, the (presumably, but probably not) honorable Robert Brady (D-PA) wants to make it illegal to say mean things about politicians. Notably he wants to make it a federal offense to use "language or symbols that could be perceived as threatening or inciting violence against a federal official or member of Congress"
May I just say; damned if you will!
The ability to express ourselves fully, in the most vitirolic of language, is one of the last resorts we have to remind our elected officials who they work for, and when they're doing a piss poor job. Any curtailing of that most precious of liberties, free speech, must be considered an assault upon the People of the United States. I am not happy that such protection is afforded the chief executive, and I will be damned if all our elected officials receive the same ægis.
Actually, the entire country will be damned and the descent into fascism of our freedom loving rollercoaster will slip it's brakes and there will be little left to do about it. Remind your elected officals that you oppose any such legislation. Failure to do so will result in you getting the government you deserve.
Secondly, James Clyburn (D-SC) wants special treatment when passing through TSA checkpoints.
“We’ve had some incidents where TSA authorities think that congresspeople should be treated like everybody else.... ....Well, the fact of the matter is, we are held to a higher standard in so many other areas, and I think we need to take a hard look at exactly how the TSA interact with members of Congress.”
That is an interesting opinion, please allow me to rebut.
Fuck you, you tyranical, egomaniacal, shitstick. The best part of you ran down the crack of your mother's ass and left a brown stain on the matress. How dare you think you are above the rest of us. You are a public servant you power-hungry tool, not a member of the second estate.
And finally on the hit parade of shame; Peter King (R-NY), who wants to make it "illegal to knowingly carry a gun within a 1,000 feet of certain high-profile government officials.”
This is because he knows his latin and remembers his history. Ultima Ratio Populi; the last argument of the people.
1.12.2011
Philosphers and their Ilk: Arisotle
Aristotle was an asshat.
An ignorant asshat.
An overpaid asshat.
Kinda like Glen Beck.
That is all.
An ignorant asshat.
An overpaid asshat.
Kinda like Glen Beck.
That is all.
12.02.2010
Fun and Games With the Terminally Stupid Agency
Brought to you by those erudite gentlemen at Rooster Teeth productions. Warning may be NSFW depending on your place of business.
10.22.2010
IT is coming...
Because the Best Buy can't do anything right the first time, my SD card for the digicam is going to be a week late. On the other hand, they are shipping it to me directly at no extra charge, so I guess I'll let them remain un-pillaged.
8.05.2010
8.03.2010
A Pair of My Saturdays
So a while back I’m going about my Saturday (armed, natch), and I stop to take care of some banking. Now in Alaska even in Anchorage we believe in personal responsibility and the fact that Ursus Arctos sometimes wanders into town. Hence the open carry (I personally open carry rather than concealed carry because I feel that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure). And we so believe in personal responsibility in the last frontier that you can even carry in the bank (just don’t draw, they get all twitchy when you draw).
So I’m in the credit union meyhap twenty minutes (fifteen minutes in line, five with the teller), my Five-seveN and The Blade in plain view and nobody says boo. I do my thing, finish up and didi-bop out the door, and (feeling a bit peckish) drive across the way to the Toxic Hell for a nosh. I roll through the drive-thru, get my junk and park the truck to enjoy the sun and my tunes and some "authentic faux-Mexican" cuisine. Just as I bite into my burrito, I hear a voice in my head.
Now I have heard voices off and on all my life. Usually they say things like; “Don’t do that, you’ll look stupid.” or “Try it with no hands, that’ll impress her.”, this was the first time the voices in my head said “Keep your hands where I can see them. Sir, do you have a weapon in the vehicle?”. Glancing into the side mirrors I saw not one, not two, not even three, but FOUR police cruisers blocking me into the parking space, and no less than eight police officers approaching my truck with weapons drawn.
No wanting to audition for the roll of John Dillinger, I kept my hands on the wheel and answered in the affirmative. I was then asked to list my weapons, which I did; one pistol (Five-seveN), Three knives, one large (The Blade), two small. I was then asked to exit the vehicle backwards so that the officer could secure my weapons, which I did, and the silly fucker couldn’t figure out the SERPA holster and I wound up doing it anyways. My weapons secured and unloaded I was asked for ID and then told to wait, which I did, for two minutes, before asking if it was OK to eat my (so called) food. Which after a moment’s conference it was decided that eating would not pose a serious hazard to the safety of the officers present.
While eating I casually asked one of the officers, “Not that I’m confused officer but, what’s going on?”
The officer in question looked perplexed and conferred with her colleagues for a minute and apparently reached a decision that yes, I was allowed to know what I was accused of. “Sir, were you recently in the Credit Union across the way?”
“Ayup.” I replied.
“And you were armed?” They asked.
“Ayup.” I replied.
“Were your weapons concealed?” they asked. There was a distinct feeling of “Gotcha Sucker” in the tone used.
“Nope. Not that it’d matter, law says I can carry anything not federally prohibited, concealed or openly, anywhere that is not:
a) A State or Federal reservation that prohibits the carrying of a weapon (i.e. Courthouses).
b) An establishment whose primary business is the sale or distribution of alcohol (i.e. bars & liquor stores).
c) A building or residence in which I have been asked not to carry, either through verbal or written notice (i.e. The Village Inn (posted) or my friend The Librarian’s place (verbal).
“Seeing as the Credit Union neither asked, nor posted a no weapons policy, I don’t see the problem. Is that what this is about? Four cars and eight cops to harass me over a legal carry?”
“Sir we received a call of an armed man entering the credit union.”
“So.”
“We thought perhaps there was an armed robbery in progress.”
Now, this was a full fifteen minutes after I had left the credit union. So let’s crunch some numbers here; 20 minutes in the bank, fifteen minutes at the Toxic Hell, that’s (less see 2 and 3, carry the 7…) THIRTY-FIVE MINUTES between the 911 call and boots on the ground. Anchorage is less than half that wide, and the central five-0 station is located less than 10 miles from the Credit Union.
“What?!?” I ejaculated, somewhat alarmed.
“We called and they said nothing was wrong, but we thought there might have been a hostage situation.”
“Have you talked to the credit union people since?”
“Were doing that now.”
“OK, so assuming that I didn’t rob the bank, can I go then?”
“We’re not sure about the legality of carrying a weapon in a financial institution.”
“Wut?” I asked, stunned.
“We’ve called the DA’s office and they declined to prosecute, so we’ve called the State Prosecutor’s office, we're waiting for them to get back to us.”
“Wut?” I asked, still stunned.
One of the cops gets in his car and rolls off. A few minutes later he rolls back into the lot, gets out and says “Nope it’s [the no weapons notice] not posted at the bank.”
One of the cops approaches me and tells me that they’re letting me go. My gear will be placed in the passenger seat of the truck and I am not to get in it or re-arm until they’re gone. If the State Prosecutor decides to press charges, they’ll contact me.
The tallest cop (in full alpha mode) steps up and asks “So do you think it’s a good Idea to carry a weapon in the bank anymore?”
At first I was a bit taken aback, and my ingrained respect for public servants mumbled something about “no, probably not” and then the anger kicked in. “Officer, until someone changes the law, I will carry any damn weapon I want, any damn place I feel like.”
He looked like I’d just announced that I was fucking his sister. He turned around an got in his squad car without another word.
They rolled, I re-armed and went about my day. At the end of the day, getting my stuff out of the truck I realized that I’d forgotten the TT33 in the glove box, and the City Stick in the back seat.
Oops.
Now, I told you that story, to tell you this one.
So I’m at the IHOP on a Saturday (Miniontaters and Minionberry pancakes, neither worth the price, but the Minionberry lemonade was lovely), again armed. As I’m checking out, the manager tells me that one of the other customers called the cops and reported an armed man in the restaurant. When the cops called to confirm with the restaurant, he told them it was just a patron eating his breakfast, and he’d be gone by the time they got there anyways so don’t bother.
We shared a laugh and spent a few minutes chatting about our preferred carry pieces. He carries a 1911 everywhere except work, just like me (the where, not the what). I left and went about my day.
I have learned four things from this pair of incidents.
1) Outsiders can get the fuck out of my state. Go back to Cali and New York ya pansies.
2) You never can tell who’s a real Alaskan until he’s faced with a beard and a gun. Or perhaps an angry moose.
3) When seconds count, the police are THIRTY-FIVE MINUTES away.
4) The cops neither know, nor give a rodent's rump about the law.
So I’m in the credit union meyhap twenty minutes (fifteen minutes in line, five with the teller), my Five-seveN and The Blade in plain view and nobody says boo. I do my thing, finish up and didi-bop out the door, and (feeling a bit peckish) drive across the way to the Toxic Hell for a nosh. I roll through the drive-thru, get my junk and park the truck to enjoy the sun and my tunes and some "authentic faux-Mexican" cuisine. Just as I bite into my burrito, I hear a voice in my head.
Now I have heard voices off and on all my life. Usually they say things like; “Don’t do that, you’ll look stupid.” or “Try it with no hands, that’ll impress her.”, this was the first time the voices in my head said “Keep your hands where I can see them. Sir, do you have a weapon in the vehicle?”. Glancing into the side mirrors I saw not one, not two, not even three, but FOUR police cruisers blocking me into the parking space, and no less than eight police officers approaching my truck with weapons drawn.
No wanting to audition for the roll of John Dillinger, I kept my hands on the wheel and answered in the affirmative. I was then asked to list my weapons, which I did; one pistol (Five-seveN), Three knives, one large (The Blade), two small. I was then asked to exit the vehicle backwards so that the officer could secure my weapons, which I did, and the silly fucker couldn’t figure out the SERPA holster and I wound up doing it anyways. My weapons secured and unloaded I was asked for ID and then told to wait, which I did, for two minutes, before asking if it was OK to eat my (so called) food. Which after a moment’s conference it was decided that eating would not pose a serious hazard to the safety of the officers present.
While eating I casually asked one of the officers, “Not that I’m confused officer but, what’s going on?”
The officer in question looked perplexed and conferred with her colleagues for a minute and apparently reached a decision that yes, I was allowed to know what I was accused of. “Sir, were you recently in the Credit Union across the way?”
“Ayup.” I replied.
“And you were armed?” They asked.
“Ayup.” I replied.
“Were your weapons concealed?” they asked. There was a distinct feeling of “Gotcha Sucker” in the tone used.
“Nope. Not that it’d matter, law says I can carry anything not federally prohibited, concealed or openly, anywhere that is not:
a) A State or Federal reservation that prohibits the carrying of a weapon (i.e. Courthouses).
b) An establishment whose primary business is the sale or distribution of alcohol (i.e. bars & liquor stores).
c) A building or residence in which I have been asked not to carry, either through verbal or written notice (i.e. The Village Inn (posted) or my friend The Librarian’s place (verbal).
“Seeing as the Credit Union neither asked, nor posted a no weapons policy, I don’t see the problem. Is that what this is about? Four cars and eight cops to harass me over a legal carry?”
“Sir we received a call of an armed man entering the credit union.”
“So.”
“We thought perhaps there was an armed robbery in progress.”
Now, this was a full fifteen minutes after I had left the credit union. So let’s crunch some numbers here; 20 minutes in the bank, fifteen minutes at the Toxic Hell, that’s (less see 2 and 3, carry the 7…) THIRTY-FIVE MINUTES between the 911 call and boots on the ground. Anchorage is less than half that wide, and the central five-0 station is located less than 10 miles from the Credit Union.
“What?!?” I ejaculated, somewhat alarmed.
“We called and they said nothing was wrong, but we thought there might have been a hostage situation.”
“Have you talked to the credit union people since?”
“Were doing that now.”
“OK, so assuming that I didn’t rob the bank, can I go then?”
“We’re not sure about the legality of carrying a weapon in a financial institution.”
“Wut?” I asked, stunned.
“We’ve called the DA’s office and they declined to prosecute, so we’ve called the State Prosecutor’s office, we're waiting for them to get back to us.”
“Wut?” I asked, still stunned.
One of the cops gets in his car and rolls off. A few minutes later he rolls back into the lot, gets out and says “Nope it’s [the no weapons notice] not posted at the bank.”
One of the cops approaches me and tells me that they’re letting me go. My gear will be placed in the passenger seat of the truck and I am not to get in it or re-arm until they’re gone. If the State Prosecutor decides to press charges, they’ll contact me.
The tallest cop (in full alpha mode) steps up and asks “So do you think it’s a good Idea to carry a weapon in the bank anymore?”
At first I was a bit taken aback, and my ingrained respect for public servants mumbled something about “no, probably not” and then the anger kicked in. “Officer, until someone changes the law, I will carry any damn weapon I want, any damn place I feel like.”
He looked like I’d just announced that I was fucking his sister. He turned around an got in his squad car without another word.
They rolled, I re-armed and went about my day. At the end of the day, getting my stuff out of the truck I realized that I’d forgotten the TT33 in the glove box, and the City Stick in the back seat.
Oops.
Now, I told you that story, to tell you this one.
So I’m at the IHOP on a Saturday (Miniontaters and Minionberry pancakes, neither worth the price, but the Minionberry lemonade was lovely), again armed. As I’m checking out, the manager tells me that one of the other customers called the cops and reported an armed man in the restaurant. When the cops called to confirm with the restaurant, he told them it was just a patron eating his breakfast, and he’d be gone by the time they got there anyways so don’t bother.
We shared a laugh and spent a few minutes chatting about our preferred carry pieces. He carries a 1911 everywhere except work, just like me (the where, not the what). I left and went about my day.
I have learned four things from this pair of incidents.
1) Outsiders can get the fuck out of my state. Go back to Cali and New York ya pansies.
2) You never can tell who’s a real Alaskan until he’s faced with a beard and a gun. Or perhaps an angry moose.
3) When seconds count, the police are THIRTY-FIVE MINUTES away.
4) The cops neither know, nor give a rodent's rump about the law.
7.30.2010
Never Send a Briton to do a Ghurka's Job.
I see things like this, and it makes me feel like hoisting the raven banner, calling out the warband and pointing the longships towards London.
Apparently when you send a Ghurka to do a man's job, he does it, and never even flinches, unlike his seniors (I cannot honestly refer to them as his superiors).
Having been sent to kill an afghan warlord (and bring back the body to confirm the ID), the Ghurkas of the 1st Battalion, Royal Gurkha Rifles went out and promptly killed him. When increasingly heavy enemy fire necessitated their hasty displacement from their position, and prevented the retrieval of the warlord's body, the Ghurka in question resorted to an age old tactic. He cut off the target's head and dropped it in his pack.
Turn now to Simoorie where, lapped in his ease,
The Captain is petting the Bride on his knees,
Where the whit of the bullet, the wounded man's scream
Are mixed as the mist of some devilish dream --
Forgotten, forgotten the sweat of the shambles
Where the hill-daisy blooms and the gray monkey gambols,
From the sword-belt set free and released from the steel,
The Peace of the Lord is with Captain O'Neil.
Up the hill to Simoorie--
most patient of drudges--
The bags on his shoulder, the mail-runner trudges.
"For Captain O'Neil, Sahib. One hundred and ten
Rupees to collect on delivery."
Then
(Their breakfast was stopped while the screw-jack and hammer
Tore waxcloth, split teak-wood, and chipped out the dammer;)
Open-eyed, open-mouthed, on the napery's snow,
With a crash and a thud, rolled--the Head of the Boh!
-Rudyard Kipling
--The Ballad of Boh-da-Thone
But instead of a considered and heartfelt thanks, prehaps a commendation or a medal, or at least a hundred rupees, the poor fellow is sent back to Kent "pending investigation". "Ministry of Defence sources have been quick to emphasize that the British Army is appalled by what has happened. According to one: 'There is no sense of glory involved, more a sense of shame. He should not have done what he did."
What. The. Fuck. Over. By all the Gods and the choosers of the slain! What is wrong with the UK? Was it the 30 years of rationing following world war two? Was it having to give back India and Hong Kong? What is it that makes a once ruthless and accomplished empire shit themselves over "cultural insensitivity"? Especially if your enemy's SOP is to erase cultures other than his own and replace them with "The Word of Allah". Religion of peace my ass.
Freyr's Phallus! What kind of bloodless, gibbering, 75 Kilo stack of gutless white meat says that a Ghurka's following orders is shameful? Do you think this is a game? Do you think the dead and maimed will get up at the end of the match and shake hands with their opponents? Show some respect for your country. Show some respect for your soldiers. Show some respect for the dead and the sacrifice thay have made for you and your piss poor understanding of international relations.
As you might sense, I am slightly put out by the British government.
H/T to LawDog
Apparently when you send a Ghurka to do a man's job, he does it, and never even flinches, unlike his seniors (I cannot honestly refer to them as his superiors).
Having been sent to kill an afghan warlord (and bring back the body to confirm the ID), the Ghurkas of the 1st Battalion, Royal Gurkha Rifles went out and promptly killed him. When increasingly heavy enemy fire necessitated their hasty displacement from their position, and prevented the retrieval of the warlord's body, the Ghurka in question resorted to an age old tactic. He cut off the target's head and dropped it in his pack.
Turn now to Simoorie where, lapped in his ease,
The Captain is petting the Bride on his knees,
Where the whit of the bullet, the wounded man's scream
Are mixed as the mist of some devilish dream --
Forgotten, forgotten the sweat of the shambles
Where the hill-daisy blooms and the gray monkey gambols,
From the sword-belt set free and released from the steel,
The Peace of the Lord is with Captain O'Neil.
Up the hill to Simoorie--
most patient of drudges--
The bags on his shoulder, the mail-runner trudges.
"For Captain O'Neil, Sahib. One hundred and ten
Rupees to collect on delivery."
Then
(Their breakfast was stopped while the screw-jack and hammer
Tore waxcloth, split teak-wood, and chipped out the dammer;)
Open-eyed, open-mouthed, on the napery's snow,
With a crash and a thud, rolled--the Head of the Boh!
-Rudyard Kipling
--The Ballad of Boh-da-Thone
But instead of a considered and heartfelt thanks, prehaps a commendation or a medal, or at least a hundred rupees, the poor fellow is sent back to Kent "pending investigation". "Ministry of Defence sources have been quick to emphasize that the British Army is appalled by what has happened. According to one: 'There is no sense of glory involved, more a sense of shame. He should not have done what he did."
What. The. Fuck. Over. By all the Gods and the choosers of the slain! What is wrong with the UK? Was it the 30 years of rationing following world war two? Was it having to give back India and Hong Kong? What is it that makes a once ruthless and accomplished empire shit themselves over "cultural insensitivity"? Especially if your enemy's SOP is to erase cultures other than his own and replace them with "The Word of Allah". Religion of peace my ass.
Freyr's Phallus! What kind of bloodless, gibbering, 75 Kilo stack of gutless white meat says that a Ghurka's following orders is shameful? Do you think this is a game? Do you think the dead and maimed will get up at the end of the match and shake hands with their opponents? Show some respect for your country. Show some respect for your soldiers. Show some respect for the dead and the sacrifice thay have made for you and your piss poor understanding of international relations.
As you might sense, I am slightly put out by the British government.
H/T to LawDog
8.11.2008
Incorrect Cultural Memes
I’m just doing the good consumer thing, and having my breakfast at the Denny’s ™, when I hear those most dreaded of words floating on the scorched coffee and rubber bacon breeze; “It’s my Inalienable Right…”.
Odin’s Eye, how I hate that phrase. The aforementioned phrase is almost invariably uttered by one of four species of human, none of them endangered (though in some cases, one could hope), and all of them with a firm grasp of only the first part of Rauðbjorn’s Law (and no knowledge at all, of the corollary).
The first specie to utter the dreaded sentiment is the American Student (Discipulus Americus). This particular human is young, either post adolescent or early adult, and convinced that the older you are the more time you’ve had to either fuck things up, or forget what little you learned as an adolescent.
To the Student, Rights (note the capitalization) and the Constitution are a given, a naturally occurring phenomenon, that was inevitable, because it is the best of all possible worlds, and the basis of all evil. Rights are something meant to preserve the Liberties of the downtrodden, and should be applied to all mankind (making certain of course, that the American Hegemony does not spread its Konsumer Kulture Krap to the rest of the world). The average Discipulus Americus no more understands Life or Sacrifice than a Lemming understands Matrix Algebra. Typically one can (and in many cases should) ignore this creature, as she is typically only dangerous in large groups, and are easily distracted by bright shiny objects (baggies of marijuana, shitty macro-microbrew beers, offers of interning on the Ron Paul presidential campaign etc.). Should one feel indulgent, re-education can usually be accomplished with the expenditure of enough time and energy (I recommend four years at Uncle Sam’s home for Misguided Children).
Next on our list ofasshats opinionated persons; incorruptus plumbeus sententia; the Professional Idealist. This species is not just dimorphic sexually but actually polymorphic, made up of a number of similar groups, each of which displays similar characteristics; a fervently protested belief in the constitution, intentionally segregated from certain other species (cops, soldiers, working folk), insanely high income relevant to their actual usefulness (unless you count portable food source, but that would be like eating sloth I think). Examples of the Professional Idealist include Politicians, Lawyers and certain categories of Academics. As a rule, I tend to avoid all genders of Incorruptus P. Sententia whenever possible. Remember boys and girls, stupidity is like radiation; dangerous and useful, but you don’t want to get any on you. The Professional Idealist sees the Constitution and Rights as tools to either protect or subjugate (depending on her breed and political leaning) the citizenry. Above all else, I. P. Sententia sees these things as objects to be manipulated.
NOTE: The Department of the Interior has recently released an advisory notice that the Professional Idealist population has boomed to dangerous levels, threatening not just it’s self, but other species of human as well. To restore a harmonious balance to the natural order of things, all state Fish and Game Departments are urged to order an open hunt on all members of this species, with no size restrictions and no bag limit. Please remember to only shoot what you can eat, and please eat what you shoot.
Third on our list of likely candidate for utterance of the dreaded phrase, Gunbunnies (Demens Apparatus Gastrophetes Americus). Gunbunnies can be divided into two groups; Shooters and Politicos and while many qualify as both, the difference between the two types is fairly obvious to the close observer. Shooters are usually concerned with the protection that the Rights guaranteed by the Constitution provide their lifestyle, while Politicos (sometimes called 2nd Amendment bloggers) are concerned that the government is going to eat everybody’s lunch. The only issue that can be found with the Gunbunnies is that they tend to assume that there are actually such things as Rights (more on this later). Other than that, Gunbunnies typically have their poop in a group and their shit wired tight.
Finally (and I hesitate to bring it up) there are Veterans (Custodiae Libertas). Veterans are sort of a sacred cow in America, so much so that often, social insanity, idiocy and general asshattery are ignored, drowned out in the golden light of SERVICE. If any member of the human race has the right to bitch about Rights and the state of the Constitution, it’s a Veteran. Any man (or woman) who willingly rides towards the sound of musketry, in defense of his country, and freedom is entitled to do damn near anything they want in my opinion. But. All too often I have noticed that many of the veterans I speak to (and I speak to a surprising number, after all I like to hang out at the Denny’s ™) rely on “I’m a Vet!” as the reasoning behind why they think what they do, and why they do. The Veteran (at least those members of the species that I have observed) tend to view the Constitution and Rights as an immutable bulwark against the Forces of Evil, a rampart used to defend freedom, and a bastion to protect the weak.
It is none of those things. I’ll let you in on a secret. There are no Rights. It’s true. Honest.
Merriam-Webster.com defines Right as: Something to which one has a just claim: as the power or privilege to which one is justly entitled. Merriam-Webster.com also defines Inalienable as: Incapable of being alienated, surrendered, or transferred. Therefore an Inalienable Right is a privilege to which one is justly entitled and which cannot be violated.
So what the hell was the National Firearms Act of 1934, the Jim Crow laws, and the effectively unlimited imprisonment (without trial I might add) for Contempt of Court. All of these violate our “Rights”. Even if tomorrow, the government corrected the inequities of these laws (still in effect at least), the fact still remains that our Inviolable Rights were violated. Besides, do deer get to defend themselves with rifles (that’d make hunting a true sport). Does anyone really think that being eaten alive by wasp larvae is not cruel and unusual punishment? Does a TRO keep a Tiger from killing his cubs? In nature (and by extension life) there are no Rights, inalienable or otherwise. Or rather, there is only one Right; The right to try to survive, by any means possible. Anything else is an artificial framework of ideals. Ideals that we desire, because it keeps us from having to kill every sorry motherfucker that threatens the survival of us and ours (not that that’d be a bad idea mind you).
At least, that’s my opinion, and you know what they say about opinions.
Odin’s Eye, how I hate that phrase. The aforementioned phrase is almost invariably uttered by one of four species of human, none of them endangered (though in some cases, one could hope), and all of them with a firm grasp of only the first part of Rauðbjorn’s Law (and no knowledge at all, of the corollary).
The first specie to utter the dreaded sentiment is the American Student (Discipulus Americus). This particular human is young, either post adolescent or early adult, and convinced that the older you are the more time you’ve had to either fuck things up, or forget what little you learned as an adolescent.
To the Student, Rights (note the capitalization) and the Constitution are a given, a naturally occurring phenomenon, that was inevitable, because it is the best of all possible worlds, and the basis of all evil. Rights are something meant to preserve the Liberties of the downtrodden, and should be applied to all mankind (making certain of course, that the American Hegemony does not spread its Konsumer Kulture Krap to the rest of the world). The average Discipulus Americus no more understands Life or Sacrifice than a Lemming understands Matrix Algebra. Typically one can (and in many cases should) ignore this creature, as she is typically only dangerous in large groups, and are easily distracted by bright shiny objects (baggies of marijuana, shitty macro-microbrew beers, offers of interning on the Ron Paul presidential campaign etc.). Should one feel indulgent, re-education can usually be accomplished with the expenditure of enough time and energy (I recommend four years at Uncle Sam’s home for Misguided Children).
Next on our list of
NOTE: The Department of the Interior has recently released an advisory notice that the Professional Idealist population has boomed to dangerous levels, threatening not just it’s self, but other species of human as well. To restore a harmonious balance to the natural order of things, all state Fish and Game Departments are urged to order an open hunt on all members of this species, with no size restrictions and no bag limit. Please remember to only shoot what you can eat, and please eat what you shoot.
Third on our list of likely candidate for utterance of the dreaded phrase, Gunbunnies (Demens Apparatus Gastrophetes Americus). Gunbunnies can be divided into two groups; Shooters and Politicos and while many qualify as both, the difference between the two types is fairly obvious to the close observer. Shooters are usually concerned with the protection that the Rights guaranteed by the Constitution provide their lifestyle, while Politicos (sometimes called 2nd Amendment bloggers) are concerned that the government is going to eat everybody’s lunch. The only issue that can be found with the Gunbunnies is that they tend to assume that there are actually such things as Rights (more on this later). Other than that, Gunbunnies typically have their poop in a group and their shit wired tight.
Finally (and I hesitate to bring it up) there are Veterans (Custodiae Libertas). Veterans are sort of a sacred cow in America, so much so that often, social insanity, idiocy and general asshattery are ignored, drowned out in the golden light of SERVICE. If any member of the human race has the right to bitch about Rights and the state of the Constitution, it’s a Veteran. Any man (or woman) who willingly rides towards the sound of musketry, in defense of his country, and freedom is entitled to do damn near anything they want in my opinion. But. All too often I have noticed that many of the veterans I speak to (and I speak to a surprising number, after all I like to hang out at the Denny’s ™) rely on “I’m a Vet!” as the reasoning behind why they think what they do, and why they do. The Veteran (at least those members of the species that I have observed) tend to view the Constitution and Rights as an immutable bulwark against the Forces of Evil, a rampart used to defend freedom, and a bastion to protect the weak.
It is none of those things. I’ll let you in on a secret. There are no Rights. It’s true. Honest.
Merriam-Webster.com defines Right as: Something to which one has a just claim: as the power or privilege to which one is justly entitled. Merriam-Webster.com also defines Inalienable as: Incapable of being alienated, surrendered, or transferred. Therefore an Inalienable Right is a privilege to which one is justly entitled and which cannot be violated.
So what the hell was the National Firearms Act of 1934, the Jim Crow laws, and the effectively unlimited imprisonment (without trial I might add) for Contempt of Court. All of these violate our “Rights”. Even if tomorrow, the government corrected the inequities of these laws (still in effect at least), the fact still remains that our Inviolable Rights were violated. Besides, do deer get to defend themselves with rifles (that’d make hunting a true sport). Does anyone really think that being eaten alive by wasp larvae is not cruel and unusual punishment? Does a TRO keep a Tiger from killing his cubs? In nature (and by extension life) there are no Rights, inalienable or otherwise. Or rather, there is only one Right; The right to try to survive, by any means possible. Anything else is an artificial framework of ideals. Ideals that we desire, because it keeps us from having to kill every sorry motherfucker that threatens the survival of us and ours (not that that’d be a bad idea mind you).
At least, that’s my opinion, and you know what they say about opinions.
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