Never Send a Briton to do a Ghurka's Job.

I see things like this, and it makes me feel like hoisting the raven banner, calling out the warband and pointing the longships towards London.

Apparently when you send a Ghurka to do a man's job, he does it, and never even flinches, unlike his seniors (I cannot honestly refer to them as his superiors).

Having been sent to kill an afghan warlord (and bring back the body to confirm the ID), the Ghurkas of the 1st Battalion, Royal Gurkha Rifles went out and promptly killed him. When increasingly heavy enemy fire necessitated their hasty displacement from their position, and prevented the retrieval of the warlord's body, the Ghurka in question resorted to an age old tactic. He cut off the target's head and dropped it in his pack.

Turn now to Simoorie where, lapped in his ease,
The Captain is petting the Bride on his knees,
Where the whit of the bullet, the wounded man's scream
Are mixed as the mist of some devilish dream --
Forgotten, forgotten the sweat of the shambles
Where the hill-daisy blooms and the gray monkey gambols,
From the sword-belt set free and released from the steel,
The Peace of the Lord is with Captain O'Neil.

Up the hill to Simoorie--
most patient of drudges--
The bags on his shoulder, the mail-runner trudges.

"For Captain O'Neil, Sahib. One hundred and ten
Rupees to collect on delivery."

(Their breakfast was stopped while the screw-jack and hammer
Tore waxcloth, split teak-wood, and chipped out the dammer;)
Open-eyed, open-mouthed, on the napery's snow,

With a crash and a thud, rolled--the Head of the Boh!

-Rudyard Kipling
--The Ballad of Boh-da-Thone

But instead of a considered and heartfelt thanks, prehaps a commendation or a medal, or at least a hundred rupees, the poor fellow is sent back to Kent "pending investigation". "Ministry of Defence sources have been quick to emphasize that the British Army is appalled by what has happened. According to one: 'There is no sense of glory involved, more a sense of shame. He should not have done what he did."

What. The. Fuck. Over. By all the Gods and the choosers of the slain! What is wrong with the UK? Was it the 30 years of rationing following world war two? Was it having to give back India and Hong Kong? What is it that makes a once ruthless and accomplished empire shit themselves over "cultural insensitivity"? Especially if your enemy's SOP is to erase cultures other than his own and replace them with "The Word of Allah". Religion of peace my ass.

Freyr's Phallus! What kind of bloodless, gibbering, 75 Kilo stack of gutless white meat says that a Ghurka's following orders is shameful? Do you think this is a game? Do you think the dead and maimed will get up at the end of the match and shake hands with their opponents? Show some respect for your country. Show some respect for your soldiers. Show some respect for the dead and the sacrifice thay have made for you and your piss poor understanding of international relations.

As you might sense, I am slightly put out by the British government.

H/T to LawDog

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